Yes, ‘Many’ times we hurt people with a Weakness by not talking to them. It’s not meant to be a cold shoulder, or, ignoring them on our part, but we don’t want too say something to hurt them - not knowing what to say---?! But also fear hurting them by silence.

I was hurt like that once - silence… from the church members…
It was minor compared to this subject… but it still hurt. And I was so glad when one of the elders ( who was and is a friend ) talked to me about it… It was such a Blessing!! And brought on a peace in the middle of what could have been a storm and-or me leaving a Great Fellowship of Believe[rs].

So yes, again I agree with you we need an education - how to relate to and the correct way to offer help...!!

Jim France Thank You...!

You are correct, “There are - two sides - the sinners - and we who should be able to help comfort them.

Studies are pointing in the direction that homosexuality does have a genetic or biological basis and Christians who are interested in being honest need to come to terms with these realities, even if they are uncomfortable.

Perhaps more relevant than being scientifically informed is the need to be informed about what contemporary Christian scholars are saying about homosexuality.

It would be very useful to have a website with links to serious scholarly papers from all sides of this debate.
Given the well known conservative biases of the SBC, it would be especially useful to show outsiders that you are interested in real dialogue on this issue and you are not leaving out the best scholarship available in this field.

The church cannot sidestep her responsibility to reach out to those who are in bondage to this kind of sin.  As a father of eight children and a homeschooling family for almost 19 years one would think that you would be successful in shielding your children from homosexuality but this lifestyle is just too rampant.  For example, one of my children married a person who was saved out of the homosexual culture. 

The Christian community cannot continue to stick its head in the sand on this issue.  Protesting is not the answer; the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the solution. 

Homosexuality is just one of the many sins from which the Corinthian believers were saved and Paul says to them, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Cor. 6:9-11)

I think it’s great that treatment has helped some people find happiness. But for those of us for whom treatment does more harm than good, please let us be ourselves so we can love ourselves.

I think this is a great way to bridge the differences between Southern Baptists and gay rights activists. This new approach will not satisfy everybody, but it seems like the right next step for conservative Christians concerned about these issues. What do you think?

BUT I would have to disagree with you in that there in “no ‘help’”. Mainly becuase First Baptist Sugarland and Arlington both have ministries geared to help people like myself, who want to change.

So to say that there is “no ‘help’” is wrong. NOW there may be no help in your area, OR all the Baptist churchs don’t want to help, but not all are like that. I would encourage you to look at: Exodus(http://www.exodus-international.org/) has tons of info on place closest to you and Living Hope(http://www.livehope.org/) has an forum which you can ask question and talk to people like myself. Truly hear our stories, see the change in our lives and follow along with our struggle as we seek to live our God intended life as heterosexual men/women.

And Carlos, people’s attitudes in the church are not changing.  They still believe that people like me are sick, immoral, and disgusting.  What has changed is their approach.  They are trying to put a nice face on their prejudice, but it is still ugly and glaring.

As for my morality, I follow the Golden Rule and my own conscience.  I have found them to be pretty dependable guides.  I certainly don’t follow a belief system that equates me and my partner’s loving relationship with murder.  I used to, but frankly, I would have been dead by now if I had stayed in the Southern Baptist Church.

By the way, I don’t practice homosexuality.  It is not a hobby or a sport.  I am homosexual.  My attraction to my partner is in my genes.

It is very simple.  Your church wants to deny people their capacity to love and be loved.  People will look back on the ex-gay movement like they looked back on slavery and shake their heads sadly at what we have done to human beings in the name of religion.

What was it specifically about practicing homosexuality that was tearing you apart?

Empitness; in the very large and open minded community I lived in, my value as a homosexual person mainly rested upon two things my physical appearance and my material possessions. I spent lots of time, effort, and money making sure that both of these were to the fullest and best of my ability so as to ensure a maxium return for them.

I began to notice over time that the attention, affection, affirmation, etc. I was recieving were metaphorical pennies in return for the dollars I put in. So I tryed harder, looked outward, and inward with hopes of finding the unequality that was “throwing off” the exchange. I also began to look into the future and see an unending cycle with this unequal exchange to be everlasting. I looked into the gay community introspectively and retrospectively and ,for me personally, found these to be true. Other words to describe this feeling would be inadequacy or vanity.

I never ment to say you were not a homosexual. And I believe you have a misunderstanding of the Baptist denomination. For each church is autonomist, so to me the people that “matter in the Southern Baptist Church” are my friends and ministers within my church. I also DIDN’T in anyway mean to equate your relationship with murder, I said that to simply state the equality of Gods forgiven and love. It knows no boundaries, limits, there are special rules for some and not for others. And for me thats a great thing, knowing that no matter no matter what I do, or what I’ve done Gods forgiveness is the same.

In my experience, there are all types of gay people, just as there are all types of straight people.  Some gay people are infatuated with youth, physical beauty, and material wealth.  Others look for relationships based on mutual respect and common goals and values. 

My partner and I fall into the latter group.  Sure, we’re physically attracted to each other, but that wouldn’t be enough on its own to keep us together.  We stay together because we want to build a life together and support each other through the good times and the bad.

As for forgiveness, when I have done something wrong, I ask forgiveness from the person/people that I have harmed.  That’s the only forgiveness that matters to me.

In response to your most recent post:
I don’t doubt that your statements are sincere.  However, I could not disagree more strongly that gay people should try to convert to straight.  I think it is immoral and dangerous that the Southern Baptists align themselves with this position.

Sorry I have been very busy, but was wondering while away why you think it is dangerous for the SBC to take this position? I wonder if it is because of the very obvious, due to highly publicized, people who have been illy effected by ministries seeking to help people not obey themselves but obey His wise desire for our lives. For lets be honest the media gobbles these stories up. If so, I would wonder if their ill effects came from the ministries or from their self-destructive behavior and unwillingness to let go of what they are familiar with and what they want. For if you could take those how have found joy, peace, and hope and parallel them to those of have found the opposite what would the ratio be? And would that ratio be low among the social sciences? If this is not your reasoning I would love to hear why?

If you have found “joy, peace, and hope” in the Southern Baptist Church, I’m happy for you.  My experience has been entirely different.  I don’t think my partner, who is black, would feel “joy, peace, and hope” in a church that taught that he should try to become a white person.

What do I mean by change? I don’t mean the act of never again feeling those feelings, BUT not letting my feelings, urges, desires, and myself control my actions. But allowing God, through the Holy Spirit to work through me, and in return follow after His plan for my life. Does this mean I don’t stumble? No! Does this mean I’m still gay? NO! Why? Because we see the act of forgiveness upon salvation as a renewing, or rebirth. That no longer defines us by our actions, but by our title a son or daughter of God.