The Heartbreak of Suicide
by: Karen Cole - Jul 1, 2006 - comment
My friend Jerry is the first to admit that even though it happened many years ago, his father’s suicide affects him in profound ways today.
Jerry has spent untold hours pondering the “whys” and the “what ifs,” but the bottom line is that his father left a family behind to grieve and pick up some very jagged pieces.
Jerry and his family are not alone in dealing with the consequences of suicide and attempted suicide. Statistics from the American Association of Suicidology (AAS) tell a grim story: In 2003, the latest year for which statistics are available, there were 31,484 deaths reported as suicide in the U.S. Suicide is the eleventh ranking cause of death in the U.S., ahead of homicide, which is fifteenth. Suicide is the third cause of death for young people, following accidents and homicide.
The number of suicide attempts is even more shocking. Researchers estimate that one of every twenty-five attempts is successful. A little calculation tells us that at any point in time over 787,000 of us are unhappy enough to consider suicide. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, 132,353 people were hospitalized following suicide attempts in 2002 while 116,639 were treated in emergency departments and released.
And then there are suicide’s survivors, those left behind. The AAS estimates that each suicide intimately affects at least six other people—188,904 in 2003 alone. One can only imagine what that number would be if it included extended family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and others.
So why do people choose suicide? Experts say that most who attempt suicide really do not want to die. Although the details vary, the stories usually come down to feelings of helplessness that lead to deep despair and utter hopelessness. Jerry sees in hindsight that his father must have felt helpless to change things that seemed to be spiraling out of his control—health, relationships, employment, and substance abuse—and chose to remove himself from a situation that he found increasingly hopeless.
Paul Quinnett describes this helpless/hopeless progression in Suicide: The Forever Decision (Continuum). “You come to believe that bad things just happen to you and there is nothing you can do to prevent them from happening. And, once you have arrived in the strange world where your efforts to change or control it don’t matter, it is a short step to a sense of hopelessness.”
David Cox writes in Aftershock (Broadman & Holman): “When life’s problems, whether real or imagined, are so overwhelming that a person sees no light at the end of the long, dark tunnel around him, putting an end to that life seems to be a sensible solution . . . It is difficult for someone who has never experienced that level of anxiety to understand its effect.”
Our culture’s overall devaluing of human life (abortion, assisted suicide, euthanasia, etc.) has surely contributed to the hopeless feelings of those who question their self-worth. As Christians, we are called to value and affirm every person—including those who feel of no value—as unique individuals created in the image of God.
Richard Land, president of the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission and executive editor of Faith & Family Values notes that living out the Christian concept of “neighbor” gives us a role to play in the battle against suicide: “People active in a faith community are less likely to commit suicide. While church involvement is not a magical antidote, active churchgoers are better equipped to deal with discouragement and depression and have friends who will pray with them and for them and offer support. Yet within most congregations there are individuals grappling with helplessness and hopelessness, characteristics common in suicidal thought. We must do more than be aware of our neighbors; we must care for them and convey the agape love of Christ to them.”
Suicide is a difficult topic, but that is not an excuse to be uninformed. Learn about suicide and its warning signs. Be prepared to help someone find compassionate help. You may be able to save a life.
Further Learning
Learn more about: Life, Suicide