Modesty - Women and Girls
by: Jerry Price - Apr 3, 2006 - comments: 1
Mary Mohler believes there are certain clothes Christian women should never wear-ever. Miniskirts, hip-hugger jeans, and skin-tight shirts are some things that fall into that category. Her reason? Christian women have a biblical obligation to dress modestly and reflect holiness.
The world’s attitude toward fashion, Mohler said, should not be the church’s. “The [world’s] attitude is if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Leave as little to the imagination as possible. Regenerate Christian women, I don’t believe, leave home with this attitude.”
Nevertheless, because of naiveté, carelessness, busy lifestyles, or cultural pressures, some women dress immodestly in church, Mohler, wife of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary president R. Albert Mohler Jr., said. “What it looks like to the world is, ‘These Christian women dress just like we do.’”
She admitted that there are seeker-sensitive issues involved. In the past, she said, people may have looked down on someone not dressed in traditional Sunday morning attire. But what “started as a well-intentioned move to counter that” has gone awry. “Now the flood gates are open, and anything goes. It’s going to be very hard for us to recover and to take steps back [in the other direction].
“We must remember what battles men face to stay pure as they are stimulated visually by women,” Mohler said. “They should never have it flaunted in their faces, and to have it done at church is an abomination.
“Whenever I speak on this,” she said, “mothers of sons say, ‘Please continue to proclaim this message wherever you can . . . We don’t have daughters . . . but we have sons that are looking at how [other parents’] daughters dress.”
“Christian Women Have Obligation to Dress Modestly, Mary Mohler Says,” http://www.bpnews.net (Baptist Press), October 9, 2002
Mothers and daughters often wind up in debates about what is appropriate in clothing. Susan Borowitz, author of When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me, says she often has those debates with her daughter. She says, “These debates usually end in a conversation about how teenage girls often have a sexual power they don’t know the strength of and have no idea how to handle. They’re too young to understand the messages that they send because in the early teen years they’re still playing dress-up and don’t yet understand how boys interpret their actions. A girl dressed in something she thinks makes her look like Shakira may just want to be admired from afar, whereas the boy might look at her choice of attire and think it means ‘Come and get me!’”
Susan Borowitz, When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me (New York: Warner Books, Inc.: 2003), 60.
In Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty, author Dannah Gresh sums up her little book with six simple, yet powerful statements:
- Modesty is a delicate yet formidable power that God has given to you.
- God’s intended purpose for you as a carefully crafted masterpiece is to “intoxicate” one man with the fullest extent of your beauty.
- Since immodesty creates arousal in many men, it misses the mark of God’s intended purpose for you. It’s not just fashion. It’s sin.
- The allure of immodesty is not in what is seen but what is not seen. Modesty issues a challenge for one man to romantically earn your virtue.
- A girl’s modesty is first noted by her external presentation, but if it’s not followed by the confidence of internal modesty, she still forfeits the power of her virtue.
- Modesty is possible only if you truly love God. When you love Him, you will be able to obey Him in the way that you dress.
Dannah Gresh, Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty (Chicago: Moody Press, 2002), 67.
“Although boys need to learn how to present themselves appropriately, modesty in clothing is a particularly critical issue for girls. Some girls naturally seem to have more modest tastes, while others gravitate toward more immodest types of clothing. Especially when young, they don’t understand consciously how accentuating certain parts of the body affects boys and men. Boys do pay more attention to a more enticing appearance. That’s enjoyable for girls, so they may lean even more toward this kind of dress to attract even more attention. They don’t fully realize the values they are portraying and what type of boys they’re wooing.”
Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Parenting Today’s Adolescent (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1998), 186.
“Fashion magazines, movies, and sitcoms have peddled the ‘be sexy’ message to young women for quite some time. Unfortunately, the primary media influencers have now stooped to an all-time low by targeting elementary-aged girls. This negative influence has translated into clothes for little girls that reinforce the message to ‘be sexy’ is equated with female empowerment or ‘girl power.’ Our daughters have been bombarded with the ‘girl power’ mantra that associates power and strength with a no-rules attitude in regard to clothes and behavior. The cultural powers-that-be know that ‘sex sells,’ and their bottom line is making the sale.”
Vicki Courtney, Your Girl (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2004), 101-102.
“The midriff-baring fashions have even made their way into many of our churches. We need to extend grace to young ladies visiting our churches who may be unaware of appropriate apparel guidelines, but Christian girls and their parents should know better!;
Vicki Courtney, Your Girl (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2004), 102.
“In a world that constantly bombards us with impurity and immodesty, we feel called to take a stand against what the world is telling us is acceptable. Especially in the area of clothing and modesty.”
Bios (Barlow Girl) [Accessed November 11, 2005]
“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…
“Any biblical discussion of modesty begins with the heart, not the hemline. What fruit of the Spirit is seen in the modestly dressed woman? Self-control: an intentional restraint and moderation for the purpose of purity.
“Modesty, therefore, is simply humility expressed in dress. The humble Christian woman who understands this passage will have a wardrobe that expresses self-control, moderation, and restraint. What she wears will demonstrate that she lives with a settled resistance to the ceaseless pull of the world. She will dress to show the grace and beauty of womanhood and to reveal a humble heart—not to call attention to herself, flaunt her beauty, impress her peers, or allure men sexually.
C. J. Mahaney, The Soul of Modesty (Sovereign Grace Ministries) [Accessed November 11, 2005]
A group of teens in Gilbert, Arizona have formed Youth for Modesty, focusing on clothing fashions for teenagers. The group, led by 17-year-old Cassi Castleton, formed out of a church youth group that was concerned with the lack of modest clothing available for purchase at the retail outlets. So far, they have raised almost 1,000 signatures on a petition that was presented to clothing stores.
“Parents and students in Valley school districts have complained in recent years that it’s been increasingly difficult to find school-appropriate clothing when retailers offer mostly low-rise jeans, sheer mini-tees and shrunken tennis skirts in their back-to-school collections.
“Most East Valley school districts, including Gilbert Public Schools, don’t allow the skimpy tops and suggestive slogan T-shirts that dominate the shelves at retailers such as Abercrombie & Fitch.
“Many of the kids have resorted to layering T-shirts and tanks from their favorite stores to make sure they are school-appropriate and showing less skin.
“‘We’ve been getting calls from all over the Valley,’ said Rosanne Tidwell, one of the church youth group leaders aiding Youth for Modesty. ‘I guess that tells you how important a thing this is.’”
Excerpted from Cary Aspinwall, Teens Seek Modest Outfits (Arizona Republic), September 6, 2005 [Access fee required]
Further Learning
Learn more about: Family, Sexual Purity, Modesty
1 comments (post your own) feed
1 On Sep 18th, 2006, at 12:44pm, Judy Felkins wrote:
Thank you for this excellent and timely article. As a mother and a grandmother, I pray daily for my daughters and granddaughters to not be caught up in today’s worldly dress. I plan to pass this article on to them and to share it as I have opportunity.